Breaking: Car hits 7-Eleven at Clybourn and Southport

I made a quick run to the grocery store this morning, and got a little entertainment on the way back.
I'm pretty sure I passed that car on the way to the grocery store. I'm assuming everyone was okay because there were no ambulances and the police were just standing around.

Also, from the bike rack outside the grocery store, bike lock FAIL:

Poor ducks

I always feel bad for the ducks who land in the law school's zero-depth fountain. They clearly think it's a regular pond, because they invariably sit down when they land, as if they're expecting to float. When they instead discover that they're scraping their butts on the granite, they stand up, shake their tail feathers a few times, and then stand dejectedly in the fountain for a few minutes, as if looking for indications that deeper water is nearby. It never is, and they always fly off, disappointed, after a few minutes.

More, please

I love it when journalists get it so very, very right: The Great Ethanol Scam

FedEx Can Ship Anything!

Even whales.

How to be a butthead

Looking for a way to demonstrate just how much of a butthead you are, but not quite certain how to get the message across? Parking your enormous gas-guzzling SUV (with custom rims, no less) in the "Reserved For Alternative Fuel Vehicles" spot at Whole Foods is a pretty good way to start.

And yes, I checked--it wasn't an enormous gas-guzzling SUV hybrid. Not that I think hybrids should be allowed in spots reserved for alternative fuel vehicles anyway, since they don't actually use any alternative fuel. In fact, I don't really think having alternative-fuel-only parking spots makes any sense in the first place, since it implies that vehicles which run on ethanol are actually environmentally friendly, and not a giant hoax made up to benefit big agribusiness.

I guess it is possible that the driver of that SUV could have given me a well-reasoned explanation of how he parked in that spot to make a statement about the problems inherent in using "alternative fuel" as a proxy for "environmentally friendly," but I suspect that he was more interested in being a douche bag. Unless that SUV has been modded to run on home-brewed biodiesel.

A dedicated public servant of Illinois

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Deborah Seyller, Kane County Circuit Clerk. If you don't see it, look harder (hint: what the heck is on the wall?).